Trinita dewanti

The runaway weekend

2010-07-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

For those who at one point in their life wants to run away, you can relate to me. I just did. Only this time the end result, it strikes me as a nice surprise.
I choose a cheap hotel in Utrecht, an unlikely place that I ever think I like to be, a youth hostel where you share your bed, with at least 16 people in the same room, share bathrooms, toilet and share the space.
When I first entered the reception, a room full packed with people sharing little living room and sharing TV. A line of computers in the table, where everybody glued their eyes to it. My first thought was I just made a big mistake. I shouldn't be here in the first place. Why am I doing this while I can afford to stay in a much more comfortable hotel where the I can have my bathtub and a nice quiet evening in the lobby ?
I clumsily take a seat in the sofa with everybody else, find a comfortable way to blended in, I saw a cute cat and I play with it. One guy said, we need a name for this cat, I said I call her 'nightmare' as soon as I'm imagining i will have a night mare not long after this experience in this hostel.

Nightmare is fun to be with, she or he play with me, scratching my face, licking my face and just fun being a cute cat.
A bunch of Japanese tourist came in, speak none of the english, and try to look their best. A bunch of another spanish came in, spread their winner energy from the world football champion lately, their heads up and speak proudly their language, presenting themselves as a champion.

Some guys playing nice music with drums and piano, very nice, I love them, atmosphere getting warmer and cool at the same time.
I begin to enjoy it.
Wine is being freely given to every one.
Night begin with a nice and cozy atmosphere where everybody enjoy themselves, with whatever they have.

I slept with another 15 people in the same room, mixed guys and girls, I can hear people snoring, this is a strange situation for me.
I hear, I listen, I observe, and I dont' mind.
I can sleep like a baby last night.

I wake up at 5, as usual, find my way down to take a shower and then breakfast. The owner of this hostel served me, she's a middle aged woman with big posture, speak good french, very nice, talkative and warm and generous. She gave me a bottle of red wine, she cooked pancake for me and a nice warm meat. We talked a bit, and she gave me the information where to go and see in Utrecht.
I enjoy very much the conversation, as she turns out to be very spiritual, creative and warm and generous person I've ever met.
The fact that she does this not for money, but because she likes to do this, it's very inspiring.
She shared some idea she had and she want to do. I did share mine too.
Alot of guitars in the wall, a big piano in the corner and a bunch of nice people.
The idea that I have very good life already, kicks in. What a blessing my life is.
I simply can choose what experiences I want to have, and I can just have it.
I enjoy the interaction with new environment and new situation and new people.
I have a very good job, a job that most of the people could probably only dreamed of. And I sometimes still complain about my life.
I choose to live in a luxury place to be for most of the people, and when somethings not going right, I was angry and dissapointed like hell. The fact that I can still have a choice to turn it around, I forget that almost.

Talking with these people, opening my eyes of how lucky I am to be in my position right now.
How blessed and beautiful the experiences I have until now.
I can see myself doing everything I want to be and be anything I want to be, without worrying too much about the money, the freedom is overwhelming.

Thanks everyone for sharing your little weekend with me, telling me something that I almost forget.
That I have a wonderful life already.

Loving our own shadow

2010-05-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

Is that a bad thing that people have a relationship and then split ?
Our society think that broken relationship is a bad thing, look at Brad Pitt and Jenifer aniston, people all over the world speculating they will be back together again. Most people think a relationship ideally should be till the end of their time.
In my opinion, a broken relationship is common, a journey of your soul that some people must be able cope with.
There is no way in the world that you can avoid being broken hearted at some point in your life.

There are difference responses to everyone when it happens.
Some people retract themselves and join 'the uncommitted brigade', they are running away from their deepest emotion, affraid it might get hurt again, worse they could feel they don't need love, it's only for the foolish and the hopeless romantic.
Others are depressed, and glooming their life with sadness and sadness only.
A few, observe this as a reflection of your own self, a way to see yourself in your deepest feelings and emotion. To understand what is going on inside you, and understand it even more.

I believe we attract certain kind of person in our life to call in certain experience in a certain time of our life, that we need in this life to learn something from it, these certain people that we are attracted to, are mirroring our own reflection. It is our other half of ourselves that we attracted too. We need to be a whole and complete in this life to be able to meet the other half of us somewhere.
We need our own shadow. We need to face our own darkness.

A soulmate relationship is an example of a relationship like this, it reflects the worst part of you but also the best part of you, it could lead to destruction cause one of the lovers will feel the burden of the other's projection as too much to carry.
Most relationship can not sustain such an intense energetic charge which usually comes from unresolved pattern from your childhood life. Jungian say Animus for a woman where she reflects her relationship with her father as a first man she knew and Anima will project the relationship with his mother as the first woman he knew.
Forexample when your pattern with your mother is an unexpressed love, you are bound to project it into your relationship, or if your father abandoned you, or it's unknown that your father ever loved you, the words like : "You never said that you love me" or " I don't know if he really loves me" , are almost always a self fulfilling prophecy.

Such situation lends an intensity and fluctuating quality to the relationship which can make it difficult to endure on a long term basis. As a lot of thing has to come out on the surface.
Whilst one partner remains firmly rooted in reality, the other vacillates between heaven and earth or between idealisation and denigration. It can be very confusing and set the heart on swing, between joy and pain, love and hate, anger and happiness. A soul mate relationship of this sort often does not survive because the intensity of the emotion fuelled by the soul is too much to bear.

In other situation, we maybe need other people to give us love, instead of giving love to ourselves.
We think that love is coming from outside ourselves to ourselves, there is a difference between being love and wanting love.
Being love, implies that we are the source of love, while wanting love, we need love from outside ourselves to fill in the big hole inside us that we thought it's there.
We give them power over us, to make us happy or unhappy.

When we place ourselves in a place where there is a self love, we also attract the same kind of person that fully content with themselves, this will create a healthy relationship where it base on foundation of joy, adventure, and exploration of life itself, where it supposed to be.
Every relationship is important for our spiritual growth, it serves some purpose in our life, every one of it.

Life is a journey, enjoy what comes

Coming back alive from hibernating

2009-12-06T00:43:00.000-08:00

I'm back on this blog, sorry for followers that find me hibernating for a while, I do need some time off for my self for a big transformation that going on in my life.
I do still alive and kicking if you might ask, my life is different and change a lot, I do still have a lot of story to tell.
My life is still interesting, at least for myself.
I have been down, but I will be up again, life is like a cycle, but there's always a lesson can be learned.
I'm back folks, and I will keep posting..

In the memory of my dear mother

2008-10-21T01:52:00.000-07:00

My mother passed away on Saturday , 18 October 2008, 3 days before my birthday in Jakarta. I came to Jakarta on Sunday still here right now, would like to talk about her.
My mother lived her life with full of colors, challenges and million stories to tell that can pass long long after the children and grandchildren.
She was a wellknown doctor in my little town, in west Borneo at that time, we always known as her children in the town. I remember when I was a kid, I ran away buying cookies in the stores, and the lady who watch the stores give me big discount, just because I am her daughter and many other occassion where I took advantage of being her daughter.
She had her difficulties, troubles as everybody else, as far as I remember her courage and dignity and stubborness , inspires me all my life.
When I was a teenager, I was always against her, refused everything she asked me to do, did exactly the opposite what she want me do. I was a complete chaos, just like a pinball, running to one trouble to another.
But I never regret, that period of my life proofed to be the most important part of my life that make me like this. She proud of me of being myself, with my own colors, challenge , but most of them fun and loving life.
I saw her death as a beginning of a new life to her, a new beginning, a new path, and I'm proud of her being my mom. Always.

A note from me

2008-09-12T01:42:00.000-07:00

I consider my life a journey, and a good one, I enjoy every minute of it. I do have my ups and down, but looking back, I always got what I want, and it is only because I'm not focusing on what I do not want, but instead I'm only focusing on what I do want.
This month November I plan to go to USA, a visit to an old friend, who was once part of me ( a little bit ), 2 weeks there and then I will be in Jakarta Bali again for some family visit and a little business to do.
There is still alot I want to accomplish, despite my busy life, I never let this dream gone by the wind.
But sometimes I do feel a bit lonely, it is so difficult to share the same value you have with another, very few.
For most of you, thank you for all the support, your little email, little drop, although I dont have time to answer, it means alot to me. I wish you all the best year of your life, and I love yo all, beautiful people

Week 1 , Summary working in Germany

2008-08-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

It still months to go before the project is finish, and then I can back to Holland, but I can see already major differences between working in NL and GR.
People
Orang orang di belanda lebih ramah deh..., mereka bisa ngobrol dan chit chat di jam kantor dan tanpa basa basi bisa drop by ke ruangan presdir, disini mah jangan harap.
Semua serius kerja, nggak ada ngobrol ngobrol atau ketawa ketawa...kering dah.
Waktu aku naik bis, setelah memberikan uang aku bilang 'THank you' tau nggak apa jawabannya :'THis is in Germany' dalam bahasa german, dasar ...mereka ngarepin aku bahasa german, gue cuma tahu 'Auf wiedersehen' doang.
Waktu aku pulang on the way, begitu aku denger suara orang belanda cekakakan di kereta, gue seneng banget deh. Emang betul kata orang, lu nggak bakal tahu kebaikan seseorang sampai kamu kehilangan nya.
I'm so happy to be home every weekend. Sekarang aku jadi lebih apresiasi terhadap apa yang sudah ada didepan mataku.
Nggak berarti aku nyesel dikirim kesini, tapi consider that as an experience, and it is worth it.

Working in Germany Day 1

2008-08-12T03:11:00.000-07:00

Hari minggu berangkat naik first class ICE train ke Dusseldorf dulu, sepi banget :
I plan to prepare a glass of wine for a little celebration in the journey, but then I forgot the wine.

Sampe di hotel jam 9 malem :
Capek banget, dan begitu kepala menyentuh bantal, aku langsung ngorok.

Paginya langsung ke Head quarters :
Kantornya guede banget, kantin nya segede lapangan bola, menunya biasa ala barat.
I've been here before, this is probably the third time, tapi sebelummnya aku kesini cuma ikutan meeting, sekali ini I'm here to stay.

Dan sorenya balik lagi ke hotel :
Sesudah mandi, jalan dikit ke kota lihat liat, kemudian makan di restoran :
All Alone

Tips and triks menghadapi 'si bule' di kantor.

2008-08-05T00:59:00.000-07:00

Perbedaan kultur membuat banyak kendala dan salah persepsi antara kita dan 'si bule' jika kita bekerja dengan mereka.
Nggak ada salahnya saya 'share' sedikit apa yang pernah saya alami, bergaul, selama ini dengan mereka.
Pertama kali saya bekerja dengan 'international environment' adalah ketika saya (yang masih belum selesai kuliah)
bekerja di perusahaan minyak terbesar di Indonesia pada saat itu, sebagai Junior programmer.
Saya 'report' nggak cuma ke PM(Project Manager) diatas saya , tapi juga langsung ke PM diatasnya PM saya, dia itu
seorang Amerika. Komunikasi yang baik ke dia membuat hubungan saya dengan beliau sangat baik,
dan pada suatu saat waktu dia memutuskan hendak hengkang dari Arco, saya ditawari untuk bekerja diperusahaannya di Amerika.

Yang saya ingat pada saat itu, saya selalu 'take my time' to explain what I was doing.
Or even explain my process of thinking, dengan demikian, tidak ada salah paham, he knew exactly what I was gonna do.
Do not be a 'complainer' yang selalu berkeluh kesah, setiap masalah selalu
ada solusinya, be a 'Solution oriented'.

Selain dari sikap mental, ada beberapa 'clash culture' yang perlu kita waspadai :

1. Jangan sering sering minta maaf.
Orang Indonesia sering banget minta maaf, mau menegur minta maaf, mau email minta maaf dulu kalau mengganggu, tanda tanda kurang percaya diri.
so...low self esteem. Jangan lakukan itu. Tidak perlu. Anda juga perlu perhatian. You deserve an attention.
Anda akan jauh lebih dihargai sama rata tanpa perlu meminta maaf.
Hal ini tentu tidak berlaku jika anda memang benar benar perlu meminta maaf karena suatu kesalahan.

2. Be articulate
Perbendaharaan kata bahasa Indonesia tidak cukup untuk menterjemahkan dengan fasih apa yang ada dibenak anda, karena itu
Orang Indonesia terkesan ''fague' tidak jelas, tidak articulate. Mereka jadi penuh dengan tebak tebakan dengan kita.
Perkaya perbendaharaaan kata kata anda, banyak keuntungannnya.

to be continued..

Observing 'Gay Pride' in Amsterdam

2008-08-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Kalau pengen tersenyum melihat kelakuan para gay, datanglah ke 'Gay Pride' di Amsterdam. Mereka berparade ditengah kanal di Amsterdam, dengan pakaian penuh gemerlapan. A celebration for freedom of choice.

Dengan celana kulit ketat, body yang semlohay (kentara selalu ke gym). They scream : It's OK to be gay

Yang ini 'operasi plastik' wakakaka...;)
Pamela anderson style.

Gay itu bisa berarti juga lesbi

The right to be lesbian or gay

Walking on the street, feeling gay ;)

It's fun....I enjoy my day

For more 'Gay Pride' photos check out my flickr

Working in Germany, Why not ?

2008-07-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Karena di Head quarter kekurangan orang, aku terpaksa ditarik kesana untuk sementara, Living and working in Germany ?, Why not.
Pertama tama aku sudah survey tempatnya , lumayan nggak jauh dari Netherland, kalau mau nyupir sendiri 2 jam'an, tapi mendingan aku naik kereta api ICE (kereta cepat mewah) dari Arnhem ke Dusseldorf kemudian disambung ke Padeborn.
Aku dikasih akomodasi hotel didekat kantor, plus mobil, not bad.
Buatku ini buat pengalaman, lagipula aku belum pernah kerja bareng si jerman, yang kata orang sini rada rada kasar, kayak bataknya Indonesia deh gitu.
Tapi beberapa bulan aku sudah berkomunikasi jarak jauh dengan conference call dengan mereka, kayaknya mereka tuh oke aja tuh sebagai kolega. I've got no problem with that.
Project harus sudah delivery tahun depan 2009, jadi perkiraanku aku bisa 6 bulanan disini. Aku jadi kayak pekerja PJKA (Pulang Jum'at Pergi Ahad).. hehe
Pulang setiap Jumát, dan Jumát aku boleh off, kompensasi dari travelling.
Well.. we'll see, if I like it or not.

The last lecture professor dies

2008-07-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

The Computer science professor that I mentioned on my blog before here : The last lecture of Randy Pausch, dies at 47.
His famous lecture is still with many millions of us who watched.
Good bye professor, you may die , but your last lecture will keep it in our heart for many of us.

The lesson of life, achieving your childhood dream, the brickwall is there not to stop us. A celebration of life.

Thank you Randy, for words that inspiring us, for the joy that you show even in a dying situation, thank you Randy, for beautiful example of how life should meant to be.

Your words live forever

A complete list of his interviews are here Last lecture

Working on Sunday, we got flowers

2008-07-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

Seumur umur gue kerja disini, belum pernah sekalipun overtime, soalnya perusahaan nggaji overtime bisa 2 kali lipet rate perjam, jadi sedapat mungkin perusahaan nggak pernah ngasih overtime.
But not this time,
Project is on crisis, something need to be done, deadline missed, bugs are abundance, monday we have to deliver the client, we have to work overtime.
After more than 5 years in Holland, this is the very first time I have to work overtime.
But there is always the bright side, we got free lunch, and management send all of us flowers to say thank you.

Udah gitu di kereta sepi banget hari minggu, nggak ada orang bisa tidur tiduran kali ;)

Girl geek dinner in Amsterdam

2008-07-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

Apa yang kamu bayangkan jika sekumpulan 'geek girl' bersama disuatu ruangan, yang ada cuma kebersamaan, karena kita semua merasa ada sesuatu yang sama. yes we are the geek girl..
Sementara para wanita lain memborong baju , kita membeli buku, sementara para wanita lain sibuk dengan maskaranya, kita disibukkan dengan pekerjaan.
Tapi yang orang lain tidak tahu mungkin adalah, we can also have so much fun as well with ourselves, we accept it ,and we're happy and proud of what we're doing.

Girl geek Dinner tonight

2008-06-30T03:22:00.000-07:00

Via Jduchess, I join this girl's club, this would be fun,
Tonight we're gonna have big dinner for this Geek's girl club in Amsterdam, several girls from JDuchess also coming..'

The now

2008-06-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

Now is the time and space reality that I can enjoy.
I'm here and now sitting on my laptop, enjoying my time alone in the house, calling up sick this morning ad running away from my daily office routine, and just enjoy my garden in the summer with all my cats.
When you're so busy, you are chasing yourself with the intention of what's tomorrow, what's next and what was happen.
I was spending more than 5 hours yesterday of my precious time, just to complain about a guy, I now realize, that here and now is the only time I have. Why would I worry. Why would I spend so much time, ranting and complaining about things that I couldn't change anymore.
I enjoy my very moment doing nothing and observing my day..
The movement of the frog in my ponds, the little bug finding its way and the sound of the birds around me.

I have no worries.

All that I think now is the space that I have in this very moment, watching my breath up and down and the fact that I'm here in this space reality and alive is a miracle.

I am the observer of the thought in my head, I'm not what I really I am, I am a spiritual being having a human experience, I'm still exist no matter what happen to my body, and what I carry with my spirit, is the memory of my human experience.
I enjoy my ups and down.

I will live forever.

Being different

2008-06-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've been away from this blog for a while, as alot of things going on, my vacation to Jakarta, my study (I'm finishing my Master degree) that really really eat all my time.
I feel a little bit lonely.
Lonely because I just realize although I have friends here, I do not relate to them to the way I'm thinking.
My way of thinking and perpective is too abstract to up in the air for them to understand.
I am different.
It's painful enough for me to realize it stay away from talking the way I talk, because people realize how bizzar I am.

My colleage teasing me if I will go to this 'spooky course' in USA, he mention 'spooky course' is because I'm telling him I will take a photoreading course in USA, to help with my dissertation, as I need to read 20 books, which I don't have time to do that, with this 'photo reading' you can read using your subconscious mind.
At least I believed it, not many people do.

I believe in metaphysics, spiritual, despiste I'm being a software engineer, I believe in spooky things that what they said.

I believe people choose their life that they are living now, and they can change it.
I believe in quantum physic, I believe energy and mass is transferable, e=mc2, is transferable means matter can be created, using your thought as thought is energy.
I believe atom the indispesable part of matter, is actually energy. the same energy as in the air or in the chair you sit,
I belive the world you living start with the idea of your thougth first, than it is materealized.
I believe in things that people might not believe in it, but I do believe in,
and I feel different.
But I also believe that I'm the child of the universe, and since the universe is so magnificent, I couldn't be far less then where I am originated.

Holland goes orange on the Queen's day

2008-04-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

Biarpun kerjaan rumahku kedodoran deadline, aku sempet sempetin juga ke Amsterdam naik kereta, kapan lagi bisa liat para 'londo londo edan' merayakan hari 'queen's day' nya.

Begitu keretaku berhenti, di stasiun, manusia merengsek kayak semut, didepan stasiun udah nggak bisa bergerak lagi.
Yang ada aku cuma motret motret didepan stasiun Amsterdam aja, nggak sempet ngeliat yang lain, abis badanku yang mungil diantara raksasa raksasa oranje...ih takut ahh..
pulang aja..

The gap between the freelancers and the permanents is the kind of people

2008-04-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

Di Belanda, seseorang yang bekerja non permanent, dan dihitung perjam, disebut 'detachering' , ini punya konotasi sedikit rendah, karena umumnya para 'detachering' itu orang yang nggak dapet kerjaan tetap, dan pekerjaannya bisa hilang sewaktu waktu, karena posisinya bukan posisi permanent.
Nah freelancers, kalau yang nggak tahu, mereka juga menyebutnya 'detachering', kesannya, 'ah lu kan nggak dapet kerjaan tetap, makanya lu freelance'.
Totally wrong.
On a contrary, saya bisa mendapatkan pekerjaan tetap kapan saja saya mau, Tapi saya tidak pernah mau for one reason and another.
Saat ini posisi permanent untuk seorang Java developer di Belanda, dari 6 posisi permanent, cuma 1 yang tersedia, they are desperate.
Saya sama sekali tidak tertarik bekerja permanent lagi, ketika saya bertemu dengan seorang lulusan ITB Indonesia yang bekerja di Belanda, menanyakan dia berminat 'freelance' nggak, dia nggak tertarik, alasannya istrinya yang juga tinggal disini lagi meneruskan kuliah dan butuh biaya rutin, dan dia nggak mau ambil resiko.

Sebagai gambaran check di link sini yang menawarkan permanent, dan perhatikan berapa mereka menawarkan besarnya gaji,

IT jobboard permanent
dan yang contract :
IT contract Java

Permanent ditawarkan untuk yang senior sekitar 60K/tahun untuk posisi Senior Java developer,
Contract sekitar 60-65 Euro/jam, Ini adalah tawaran standard, pada kenyataannya jika posisi itu susah didapat, dan kandidat cukup berpotensi, sangat mungkin hingga 75 euro perjam.

Jika rekan saya yang dari ITB tadi mengerti hitungan seperti ini, dia cukup cuma kerja 5 bulan saja untuk setahun yang dia dapat sekarang.
Tapi saya tentu tidak menyalahkan dia, karena saya mengerti persis apa perhitungannnya, dia kan punya anak istri, yang butuh stabilitas income yang tetap.
Saya berpikir, meskipun misalnya saya pilih permanent, masih mungkin saya didepak, jika perusahaan tidak berjalan semestinya, sama persis resikonya dengan seorang freelancer. Bedanya dengan seorang permanent, saya cukup punya tabungan untuk minimal satu tahun kedepan tanpa pekerjaan.
Selain itu, posisi freelance, sangat 'challenging' anda bertemu dengan situasi baru terus menerus, anda terbiasa beradaptasi dengan baik dengan lingkungan, anda berhadapan dengan project yang berlainan setiap kali, I think it's very rewarding experience, selain juga 'very demanding' , anda harus siap berprestasi since day 1, anda tidak diharapkan punya waktu 'belajar' anda harus sudah siap bekerja di jam pertama bekerja di perusahaan, jika dalam seminggu, mereka berfikir anda tidak qualified, 'sorry you can go now'.
That's the fact, saya pernah mengalami melihat seorang rekan yang didepak dalam waktu seminggu, tapi itu salahnya dia sendiri, karena dia ngaku ngakunya bisa Java, tapi ternyata nggak geblek java sama sekali.
Satu kuncinya, pilihlah perusahaan besar, mengapa ?, cuma perusahaan besar yang pekerjaannya punya task yang jelas, nggak serabutan. Saya lihat masih banyak perusahaan kecil yang nyari 'Superman' yang tahu segala framework dan segala technology, this people doesn't exist. get real.
Seiring berjalannya waktu, it pays off.

Jadi bisa dilihat disini, perkerjaan IT freelancer, tidaklah untuk semua orang, tidak semua cocok, banyak orang memilih stabilitas, dan buat mereka itu yang paling penting, saya memilih dinamika dan 'challenge' itu menurut saya sangat penting.

Spring is in the air

2008-04-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

With my new Canon EOS40D, my Canon zoom lens, and Sigma macro lens, I was ready to shoot some flowers in Keukenhof, check out the result below :

The camera is not much difference with my old 30D, but it gots a live view , a bit tricky to use, as you have to do a manual focus, to get the best result.
The other new things is the 6,5 frame persecond, which allow me to shoot very fast in a series of images.

The noise reduction works well even above 400 ISO,
I will try to shoot on a long exposure to test it next time.
In the mean time, I love it.
For more photos on this trip see my flikr : Trinita's flikr

About SCRUM

2008-04-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

In my journey to make a useful software, I have used agile software development process like SCRUM for sometimes,
Although my experience with Scrum only for less then a year, I would like to talk about this a little bit, with additional research I found on the Internet and some sources on a Java conference.

Scrum as one of an agile method following this principle below :

Individuals and interactions over processes and tools
Working software over comprehensive documentation
Customer collaboration over contract negotiation
Responding to change over following a plan (agileManifesto.org, 2001).

What does it mean is, it doesn't mean that processes and tools is never used in agile, it simply means that on the right side is more important that on the left side, Individual and interactions over processes and tools
It doesn't mean that you don't do documentation, but working software leads than documentation.
Changes are embrace and daily meeting used to see if there's any impediment.

Fundamental of Scrum consist of :
The product is developed in a sequence of self contained mini-projects iterations(it called Sprint).
It is then grows the functionality in incrementally in each iterations.
Time boxing . Every activity should be in a certain time frame and there is no manager, no architects, no big upfront design.
There only three roles : Product owner, Team member and Scrum master, there is no architect, senior developer no hierarchy

Scrum in 78 words
Starting from product backlog : is basically a set of envision of functionality that need to be implemented, Sprint Planning meeting decide which functionality should go first, decide the goal of each iteration called Sprint , define each task for the spring and implementation of the sprint is no longer than 4 weeks, with daily meeting every day. After the sprint finished there is a review meeting and retrospective meeting to see what is going wrong or what is good.

Scrum is about culture. Changing pattern the way how you work, as the business and technical work together. There is no hierarchy, no architect, no project manager, all the team has to solved the problem.
Scrum is about communication and collaboration. Communication is the key point with Scrum, there is daily meeting everyday and big meeting every 2-4 weeks.
With pair programming, people work together and help each other.
Scrum is about delivering business value.The client have control and visibility where exactly the state of the project, progress or lack of it can be easily assessed.
For developers, is more involvement on the project, have parts to say something and learning, cross functional and sense of achievement.

What Scrum is not
Scrum is not a development methodology, it doesn't have a development template to follow, it is just a basic process that have to be completed with development and business knowledge.

Despite it simplicity, however Scrum is not easy to implement, as you know
the perfect people doesn't exist,
the perfect company doesn't exist,
the perfect project doesn't exist.
Scrum rely on people, but most of the time there are different skill level of the programmer.

Kevin Brady in their article argued that Scrum failed to understood the human factor such as :
People will always put their own interest ahead of the interest of the group
People are self-interested
You can never get more than 5 people to agree on anything
(Brady K 2006).

Scrum rely on people factor alot, it takes a lot o discipline and self motivation to work with Scrum, and it is not always work for everybody.

Reference :

AgileManifesto.org 2001 Manifesto for Agile development [Online]
Available from : http://agilemanifesto.org/ (Accessed on : 4 April 2008)

Asproni, G 2006 Scrum – Getting started without getting burned [Online] Available from
http://www.parleys.com/display/PARLEYS/Scrum+%28Part+1%29#
(Accessed on : 4 April 2008)

Brady , K, 2006 Agile/Scrum fail to grips with human psychology [Online] Available from :
http://www.claretyconsulting.com/it/comments/agile-scrum-fails-to-get-to-grips-with-human-psychology/2006-08-17/
(Accessed on : 4 April 2008)

I'm leaving on a jet plane...Wait not so fast

2008-04-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

12 April 2008
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go,
I'm leaving on a jet plane...

Stop.. not so fast
Begitu sampe di check-in counter, sang pramugari darat, kebingungan
kok nama ku nggak tercantum di manifest, setelah di check lagi,
ternyata di e-ticket ku tanggalnya 12-5 bukannya 12-4. ( Yang aku booking buru buru, pada malam hari sehabis ngerjain essay)
Wrong month Mevrouw ...Ini ticket untuk bulan Mey !!!! Aku salah booking ticket !!!
Ticketnya non reimburse, non endorsement, hangus kalau nggak dipake,
My first impulse pada saat itu, ya sudah beli ticket lagi aja,
tapi pesawat penuh, worst case scenario, paling
paling hari senin balik ke kantor lagi diketawain sama temen temen..
Jadi akupun pulang lagi kerumah ,sambil menelpun semua sanak saudara
yang sudah pada menunggu di tanah air, kalau aku nggak jadi pulang
kampung. harus menunggu bulan depan. Mpek mpek nya yang udah terlanjur dibikin disikat aja rame rame ;)
Kata mbak Ida, Maklum Sampun Sepuh...

Shit happens !
See you next month folks...( I hope ;)

It comes back

2008-04-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

I love 'greatday.com' for every wise word to motivate me during the day.
below are the lines that remind me what ever I put down in this universe, manifest..

"You have no way of knowing how or when all the things you do will come back to you. What you can know is that they will.
Some obscure and seemingly useless fact you learn today could end up playing a major role in your life next week, or five years from now. Some small favor that you do tomorrow may come back to you in a few months as a grand opportunity.

You never know exactly how life will reflect back the face you present to it. Yet eventually, and quite faithfully, it does come back to you.

The value that you put into life becomes the value that you experience from life. The more love you give, the more love you are able to know.

Your words do not end when you speak them, and your actions do not stop when you've completed them. They go out into life and begin connecting you with the people, circumstances and things that resonate with those words and actions of yours.

Live as though the things you do, in one way or another, will come back to you. For you can be certain that they will."

-- Ralph Marston

on his website : greatday.com

"Kerja di restoran mana di Den Haag mbak ?"

2008-04-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

Tidak mudah untuk seorang Indonesia bekerja di Netherland, saya menemukan beberapa lulusan Delft University dari Indonesia yang kemudian bekerja di Bank, Seorang lulusan Computer Science dari UK dari Indo juga yang bekerja di Compuware, beberapa rekan wanita yang menikah dan mempunyai latar belakang pendidikan tinggi juga bisa bekerja disini, beberapa rekan lulusan ITB yang mendapat bea siswa disini kemudian meneruskan bekerja disini dengan keluarganya, tapi umumnya sangat sangat sulit.
Mengapa ?
Meskipun misalnya lulusan S1, atau meski S2, mereka harus lancar berbahasa belanda, untuk pekerjaan apapun , mereka tetap harus berkomunikasi dalam bahasa belanda.
Rekan wanita saya yang lulusan S2 microbiology terpaksa harus banting setir memilih jurusan lain, karena jurusan tersebut di belanda sangat sulit kalau tidak lancar berbahasa belanda.
Satu satunya kemungkinan adalah bekerja di daerah dimana banyak perusahaan perusahaan international berada, seperti Amsterdam dan Den Haag.
Hal ini tidak berlaku untuk jurusan IT, mengapa karena seorang Java programmer di Indonesia atau di Malaysia, tetaplah seorang Java programmer , bisa mengerjakan hal yang sama seperti 'their peers' dimanapun mereka berada.
Kemampuan bahasa belanda yang kurang bisa terkompensasi.
Karena hanya jurusan tertentu yang cukup high demand, seperti IT, atau Architecture
selebihnya buat orang Indonesia, cuma pekerjaan kasar seperti cleaning service, pengantar koran, atau bekerja di restoran Indonesia.
Tidak heran ketika saya bertemu dengan orang Indonesia di kereta menuju Den Haag, setelah berbincang dan mengetahui saya bekerja di Den Haag, seorang lelaki bertanya kepada saya demikian :
"Kerja di restoran mana di Den Haag, mbak ?"

Me and My Books

2008-03-30T01:31:00.000-07:00

My book is like a good old friend, it inspires you, it make you understand things, it companies you, it makes you smile, it makes you aware of things, and it sources of your imagination, sources of your knowledge, I couldn't live without one. My books is everywhere in my house in the book closet, on the table, on another book closet in the living room, on the floor , everywhere.

When I'm in the train to my work, I always bring one of the book with me, and read it during the journey.
But I don't read novels and love story, I don't know about you, but I think it's a complete waste of time, what do you think ?

Ketika saya memutuskan untuk menjadi programmer, a tips for beginner

2008-03-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

Harus saya akui bahwa saya berasal dari dunia lain selain programmer sebelumnya,
Mengapa saya tiba tiba menjadi programmer adalah cerita lain, yang saya sendiri tidak pernah bermimpi sebelumnya.
Apa yang saya lakukan untuk mencapai posisi sekarang ini ?,
Dimula dengan mengerjakan applikasi applikasi terpakai yang bisa saya pergunakan sendiri,
misalnya pada waktu saya belajar Java Swing, saya membuat text editor dengan applet, memang tidak ideal dan lambat, tapi I did it.
Pada waktu pertama kali saya mencoba web application, saya membuat digital diary sendiri, yang saya disain sendiri sesuai dengan keperluan saya, dan saya publish di website saya pada saat itu.
Kemudian saya membuat discussion forum, dengan Jsp, itu berhasil, dan cukup lama dipejeng diwebsite saya buat show case.
Saat saya belajar Struts, saya membuat website saya full struts capability. and it works.

I used to be a script developer, either it is Lingo from Macromedia Director or PHP.

Ketika saya memutuskan untuk menjadi Java programmer, lebih ke "survival instinct", I have to survive, pada saat itu posisi saya Internet developer, meski sudah pengalaman cukup banyak, mendapat tekanan harga cukup keras ( Saya kehilangan perkerjaan saya yang pertama di belanda sebagai Internet/Intranet developer dan sempat menganggur sekian bulan ),
I then decided one thing for my self : I got to be more technical !.
I learn most of the time by selftaught, beli buku, nggak cukup satu, kalau ada satu subject saya beli 3 dari pengarang yang berbeda, dari situ saya bisa lebih mengerti, karena dari author yang satu mungkin cara menjelaskannya kurang, dari author yang lain lebih, dan kombinasi dari semua buku itu, lebih mempermudah saya untuk mendalaminya.

Pada waktu saya pertama belajar Java, sumber saya adalah Java.sun, JavaRanch dan Sun discussion forum tempat saya bertanya, selain Googling. Saya type orang yang baru ngeh, kalau sudah di coba, jadi saya selalu langsung mempraktekkannya dan mencoba sample sample dari buku.

Saya pernah bercerita bahwa pada saat saya berlomba mendapatkan pekerjaan pertama saya sebagai Java programmer, saya tancap gas langsung ambil SCJP, cuma dalam waktu kurang lebih 2 bulan, saya beli simulasi test, beli buku exam cram, WARNING saya tidak sarankan untuk berbuat begini, it's not a good way to learn something, pada ahirnya saya lulus juga, tapi dengan nilai yang pas saja, dan sesudah itu banyak yang lupa.

Mengejar ketertinggalan saya, saya merasa musti harus berlari, sementara orang lain lenggang berjalan, tanpa pengalaman memadai, tidak mungkin suatu perusahaan mau menjadikan saya sebagai programmer mereka.
Saya membuat 3 project e-commerce sendiri, sayangnya ketiganya sudah nggak dipublish lagi, tapi saya masih punya kopinya, ntar kalau senggang saya publish lagi.
Ketiga project tersebut adalah e-commerce biasa yang menjual produk produk Indonesia.
Shopping cart inventory dan administrasi ringan di website tersebut saya sendiri yang membuatnya. It's a full blow e-commerce, nggak cuma dummy.
Salah satunya saya menjual Tshirt dimana gambar bisa diupload di posisikan di Tshirt tersebut dynamicaly. not bad for a starter right ?

Dimanakah saya mendapat sumber sumber pengetahuan tersebut ?, buku, internet, googling. You almost can find any problem you want to solve, only by googling,
hampir 95% problem saya solusinya hanya dengan googling.

Ada satu hal yang ingin saya tegaskan disini, tidak ada satupun yang tidak mungkin, kecuali diri anda sendiri yang mengatakannya demikian.
Saya bukanlah "a big fat smart ass programmer's ego" ataupun jagoan algorithm, far from it,
tapi saat ini dengan mengantongi pengalaman bekerja di perusahaan perusahaan besar seperti IBM, Erricsson, Vodafone, ING, dan ABNAmro bertahun tahun, dan mengerjakan projek projek besar mereka, dan dengan freelance rate tertinggi di Holland untuk seorang programmer even for an Indonesian programmer maybe, I don't look bad at all.
Anda tidak perlu menjadi seorang manusia super yang tahu segala macam framework dan technology yang berjalan di Java, make a small step a head, but focus on it.
A programmer, is a person who design, and build a solution for a company.
And when you do that you gotta communicate, you gotta be good at that.
Anda harus bisa merepresentasikan diri anda dengan baik, mengexpresikan diri dengan jelas dan tegas, percaya diri, open for any feedback, and criticism,
Yang saya ingat we need dedication, self discipline, motivation, positive thinking and last but not least : a very big passion for a good life !

Snow in the Spring time in my backyard

2008-03-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

Is this because of global warming, it's never happen before, It's snowing in the Spring time , this is end of March, the flower suppose to blooming, but this morning I saw the snow in my backyard..
Not thick enough to play out snow ball though ;)

Dinner with JDuchess

2008-03-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, we had a girly dinner with members of JDuchess in Amsterdam,
Share ideas, share crazy ideas, share so so ideas even share a bad idea, while enjoying nice dinner in the heart of Amsterdam.
Okay okay it's only 4 of us, but admit it, how many are there the woman in this industry, more specificaly busy with Java, only a handful.
And today, the only girls that are available are only us, Clara, Linda, Elise and me.
The food was good, and it's fun to hang out with girls some times.

Flex is my next big thing !

2008-03-14T01:30:00.000-07:00

I've been studying this RIA fenomena lately, I decided to get my feet wet.
I bought several books related to it, including SOA, as it match very well with Flex.
What interest me about RIA , is the focus more to the customer/user. Sample application done by Flex really blow me away , check out http://cynergysystems.com/
or http://www.allurent.com/.
Flex gonna be my next big thing, I decided to do some project with this.
Flex developer rate in London is 500 pounds per day. But that's not what interest me to digging in, but the front to backend development, instead of the other way around, client server the beautiful combination with Java on the server side, For me it looks so simple,it should have done like this from beginning. I'm in love with it

Observing Indonesian woman in Holland

2008-03-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Sejak tinggal disini 7 tahun yang lalu, tentunya aku pun ingin ketemu sesama temen dari Indonesia, dan mulailah nyari perkumpulan perkumpulan dari Indonesia, mulai dari ibu ibu sampe mahasiswi, sampe temen lama sejak SMP yang juga tinggal disini.
There is only one law, ada yang cocok dan ada yang nggak cocok.
Sama aja kalau kita di Indonesia, pasti kita bertemen ama yang cocok, baik visi maupun misi, masalahnya lebih sulit kalau di luar negri karena terbatas, orangnya nggak banyak. Terlebih juga mungkin cara hidupku ,it's not their cup of tea, or the other way around, they are not my cup of tea. Aku juga termasuk orang yang 'fully contended' with my self , sampe sampe aku almost don't need a friend. I enjoy my own company much more than anything else.
Umumnya para wanita yang menikah dengan pria disini, punya kehidupan yang baik, happy, dan very blessed with themselves.
I have nothing against them, but some of them really think they are in a pedestal,
kalau mereka pulang kampung ke Jakarta, wah sudah deh, semua sanak saudara memandang mereka diatas, umumnya yang begini ini yang nggak berpendidikan, jadinya ngelunjak, ngomongnya euro melulu, pamer sana pamer sini, contohnya ada tuh di Kompas Koki, banyak ibu ibu yang dari Belanda, yang mabuk darat, ngomongnya nggak ketahuan ujungnya cuma pengen show off aja, nih lho gue ada di belanda... enek deh aku ngelihatnya.
Ada juga kalangan yang berasal dari bar bar di kegelapan Jakarta, yang 'with all the luck' ended up here in Holland, aku tahu mereka karena setiap aku mampir di salah satu warung Indonesia kesohor di Amsterdam 'Warung si Joe', mereka suka kongkow kongkow membicarakan 'suami' nya , mereka ini bisa gay, dan gadis dengan pakaian supersexy, dan membawa Louis vuitton bag.
Kalau salah satu harus 'dipulangkan' alias putus ama pacar, maka hebohlah ceritanya, mulai dari perselewengan sampe harta 'gono gini'.
But Life is full of surprise, there are many stories, drama about this Indonesian woman in Holland, regardless of their background and their life.
I admire them for being a life.
As for me, I just being my self, exactly as my self, enjoy my own company, enjoy my cats, enjoy being who I am, without bragging about it.

Talking about the big fat ugly programmer's ego

2008-02-28T00:25:00.000-08:00

You've seen this things, when you are in a programmer's forum, all this 'smart ass' programmer talking about how great they are, how knowledgable they are, look what I know, this is the crypted things no one know about I know, I created it, I made it, and no one can do that better.
It's ok, for sharing the knowledge, but then always this big ego, bitching each other, bad language used.
Everyone's input is a crab, mine is the best, what do you know about. bla bla bla...
This 'senior architect' whatever their title is an achievement for them, for the sake of a big ego, and nothing morethan a big ego.
What is a code that they create means ?, it means to solve problem, to provide solution, to help people to share their knowledge to make something better.
They forget the essence of their job means.
Outside their 'coconut head' there is so much more to explore and to understand.
Unfortunately the missed it.

Lunch with my agent

2008-02-21T22:06:00.000-08:00

Kemarin, agent ku yang 'ayu kiwis kiwis' itu mengajakku makan siang deket kantor,
Seperti biasa kedatangannya selalu menarik perhatian temen temen cowok programmer ditempatku, maklum.., si agentku ini memang betul betul 'semlohay' dan membuat pria langsung klepek klepek melihatnya ;) dan lagi temen temen kantorku itu memang semua rada rada norak ;) (sorry guys ;),
Sambil menyantap 'Spagheti fruiti marie' alias spagheti pake kerang dan udang, aku membicarakan hal hal dikantor, dan aku juga menanyakan tentang bisnis nya, menurut dia saat ini permintaan permanent Java sangat banyak , dan hampir tidak mungkin di didapat, dari 6 permintaan permanent, cuma 1 orang yang siap, mau tidak mau company ambil freelancer, karena mereka harus mengisi, lowongan, kalau business mau jalan terus.
Sedangkan untuk freelancer (Java khususnya), dalam seminggu ini setidaknya ada 3 posisi tepat dengan skillku yang ditawarkan (sekitar 20 an perminggu, posisi Java lainnya yang datang). Temenku yang freelancer C++ memerlukan waktu jauh lebih lama untuk mendapatkan project, menurut si agent tadi, posisi vacant C++ yang ditawarkan selalu complex, dan specific, susah untuk mendapatkannnya. Ooh boy, are we lucky or what ?.
Aku saat ini sudah 6 bulan berjalan diprojek ini, dan bisa tinggal disini, almost as long as I want, karena project tidak mungkin tutup begitu saja, it's a long term project.
Tapi freelancer umumnya kutu loncat juga, jadi aku perkirakan 1 th aku sudah bosan, dan mulai cari project lain.
Sudah setahun ini aku berusaha untuk mendapatkan licence untuk menghire orang dari luar (terutama dari Indonesia), tapi masih belum berhasil, kalau masih lama juga, aku bermaksud mencari funnel perusahaan lain yang sudah mendapatkan izin, dengan resiko komisi berkurang, tapi lebih baik daripada tidak sama sekali.
Besok sabtu, aku ada janji sama temen chatting di expatica.com Netherland, dia Java programmer dari India, yang di hire oleh perusahaan dari Netheland, via internet langsung dari perusahaan yang menghire dia. Aku pengen tahu channel channel dia, who knows. I just buy him a beer, and he'll tell everything ;)

Observing myself

2008-02-12T13:12:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of people, I came into computing fom another discipline. Like a lot of people, I was largely self-taught in the early days. And like alot of people, I started with programming and little else but programming. Soon though , as a freelance, I found myself on a fairly large software systems. I had some pieces of good luck; I was pretty much in charge and then I had another dream.

I made alot of money becoming a freelancer, but still ...
But only until recently..

I have decided to do something else, not yet in reality but only in my mind.

But it is always started with a dream.

Observing my self that I had another dream....

Observing the dutch in the train

2008-02-06T03:57:00.000-08:00

Everymorning when you feel you need all your energy to lift up your spirit for the day, you would expect smile and enthusiasm along the way to your work.

Everytime I walks in the train and you try to find a place to seat, it is alwasy a struggle. Not that it doesn't have enough seat, but people always take 2 seats alltogher, they put all their belonging on the next seat, as if they want nobody to seat next to them.

When I pass them, they pretend like they don't know that other people also want to sit.
Only, and only after all seats are full, then they reluctantly move their belongings and let other people sit.
When finally they have to make a room for me to sit, they don't look so happy.

Dutch people have such a big ego, it could be a good things in some cases, on this case it's not.
I hate it...among other things.
Now I have to find something else to give my self a smile in my face everymorning.
this website sometimes work : http://icanhascheezburger.com/

I watch it everymorning on my iPhone in the train.
It always put a smile on my face.. forget the dutch.

Toilet

2008-01-29T02:44:00.000-08:00

If you working in IT industry, there will be likely that most of the people you met will be guys, guys, guys guys anywhere. Not that I have a problem with that, but, there are several implication of that fact.
Which is the toilet.
There are 2 toilets in the office, one is for guys, and the other one of course for girls, none of them for gay by the way. The guys toilet is always busy, people have to queue or at least wait for a while. While the girl's toilet, well... it's only me.
But they invade my toilet, it's been used by guys, and I hate it !!!.
Why you know that it's been used by guys, because of the position of the seater which is up.
Now, you tell me why I don't like it, then I have to put it down all the times when I need to sit, and it's not the nicest things to do, yackkkK!!!.
I put a note on it, saying 'Guys, go away !!', doesn't work, I put it many different notes, inside the toilet and in the door, it's still happening.
Now I place my self in the place the closest to the toilet, and watch the people who did that.
I don't realize that many, my PM, my tech lead, my big tech lead, everybody...
Now I know all my yelling and screaming doesn't work, because the people who did that, think they have all the right to do that, Big Ego...!!!

Me and my new gadget..

2008-01-25T10:54:00.000-08:00

I received this new IPhone last week tuesday and been play around with it for a while.
Review :
It's an amazing innovation by Apple, fast internet, beautiful design, I'm amazed.
Wireless connection while at home been fast enough I can play youtube without jeddah.
Pop mail works well , and spam mail not show up..
Maps, I don't know I need that much of it, since I have a GPS (Tom Tom), and much better with navigation system instead of viewing the map.
Weather, upload the latest weather condition, very handy.
I use Vodafone for my provider, and it never let me down, I connect to 'Internet everywhere' I pay for 10 euro/month, for the connection unlimited to the internet.
I've showing around this little gadget in the office, makes all my colleage jealous ;;)
My middle name was gadget woman..
Next ?
Macbook air ?

If you were a sailboat

2008-01-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

Just want to share this beautiful song, as this song I heard over and over again
during my visit to Paris.

and the parody by her self !

- Katie Melua Lyrics

Paris, I'm not in love

2008-01-01T02:06:00.000-08:00

The idea about coming to Paris, is about getting to know more about this city,
as I was so excited to find a freelance job here, just for like 3 months or so, just to have an experience how is it like living and working in this city.

This time of my visit change it all.

I always took a cab everywhere I go in Paris, not this time, I did it all out, using only public transport, Metro and bus.
That's make me aware of the surrounding, I knew more about Paris and its people.
The stinking smell in the metro station, the erratic behaviour of the people you met in the metro. The unsmiling face all around and unhappy atmosphere.

Every little shop you visit , you have to be aware if they treat you right, they expect more with foreigner. I always been very sensitive to atmosphere and environtment where I was staying,
I smell people with alot of disatisfaction everywhere, I smell
untrustworthiness, I smell people seems to explode in any second.

I walked along the Champs Elysees with my tripod and backpack, looking at people's face and see no smile nor happiness, except of course the Japanese tourist who is always happy whenever they are on vacation.
Anything that make me want to stay, I couldn't find. nothing, nada, niks.

Metro pack with people all reaching to Eifel tower for some fireworks, I see no fireworks, only crowd, with troubled behaviour and drunken woman, yell at me so loud it could burst my chess out.
Doesnt' mean that I didn't say this city is so beautiful old city, full with heritage and amazingly preserved.

I walked at least 3 km top last night on the way back from Eifel tower after the new year's eve joining the crowd, no taxi, no bus, metro is the only way, and it's about 3 km away...
One way I could think of is if I live here, It will change my behaviour , if I'm not strong enough, Or if I'm a super big ego, or a bit of an as*ho*e I might be allright.

There are places I would want to stay for a month of two, I don't think Paris is one of them,
I'm not in love.

If you think by seeing this photos in Paris, it's beautiful city , think again...

I will visit Paris again sometimes, maybe then I will change my mind.. never know..

It's been a good year

2007-12-30T10:56:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be the last day of the year 2007, I sit down and think back, what I have been done in this year.

It's been a good year.

And I will continue to thrive..

I choose Paris this time to spent my new year's eve. Hopefully I can catch some beautiful fireworks with Eifel tower in the foreground tomorrow, if cold is not got into me, as I heard is gonna be freezing...tomorrow....brrrr....

Look what's on my 'christmas package'

2007-12-21T12:16:00.000-08:00

Menjadi tradisi, semua orang menjelang natal mendapatkan kado dari tempat mereka bekerja, jadi bisa dibayangin di kereta penuh dengan orang membawa kado natal yang kadang lumayan gede sepanjang perjalanan pulang.
Seekor anjing di kereta dibawa tuannya dan didudukkan di kursi penumpang

Dan si little doggy pun dengan relax duduk dikursi, sayang tidak lama kemudian puluhan penumpang menyerbu, jadilah si doggy terpaksa duduk dibawah lagi . Kacian deh lu...

Sambil menenteng bungkusan besar, sampe rumah all the beautiful cats in the world sudah menunggu dan dengan penuh tanda tanya membuat observasi sekitar kado natalku

hmmm....I think they like it....

Java Polis 2007 : A review

2007-12-13T13:00:00.000-08:00

What I like about visiting a Java conference is because gathering a bunch of people with the nose up in the same direction, is fun !!. The atmosphere is positive, exciting, and challenging.
The question like : what's new, what's going on now, what is our direction,

Java is not just a hype , is a community .

James Gosling in his opening talking about how the network change everything and about his baby Netbean 6, it is basically a skeleton with alot and alot of plug in , in it.
And about how Java battling its complexity,

Because one person's critical feature might be another person's bloat, is guarantee always like that.
And JDK 7 ..Closures !!!

James Gosling have been asked this question : "How do you keep up with the technology?", he said : "I don't", I agree with him, I did exactly the same, because You just can't !, It is now to much to keep up with everything going on with Java and its technology, it's sort of make you crazy.

I was being asked before what framework and tools you will use for your project and I answered I just use two, and these guy was just 'what only two?", like there's no challenge in it, if you don't use the latest and the greatest of the technology. The same thing like saying ,'guys don't get erection before they're challenged' , Rubbish!!!.

Interesting things is : Adobe Flex, this is the next big things I believe

Java Persistence, still alot to do, but promising

Java Closure Saga continues...watch out guys

Java FX

As usual I met some colleagues and ex colleague of mine, small small world

Like this guy, Victor, my Russian Colleague when I was working in ING

Or Linda, showing her sandwich, Javaduchess girl

My badge ;)

What more fun about this is , because of our position now, many booths in this conference begging us to work with them, they offer us free dinner, free books, free JavaOne, etc, etc.

Boy, are we lucky or what ?

That was a hell alot of fun guys.
See you in Java One...

The Golden Compass - A potential imagination of a human soul

2007-12-09T04:54:00.000-08:00

This movie is about a huge potential imagination of a human soul that interpreted in a very inteligence daring story, a kind of movie that I really like.
When you sit and watch it, you are on a different world so amazingly rich of fantasy and imagination, you completely detach from your reality now.
It is enlarge and widening your perspective, even so you might wonder that in this world , I believe there is a paralel reality indeed.
The world in 'Golden Compass', there are realities side by side paralel to your reality, there is way through another reality with the 'dust',
The trilogy is exploring this journey to find a way to this 'dust','The Golden Compass','The subtle Knife',and 'The amber spy glass'.
It is a story of a young girl's journey to self awareness and understanding the price of a free will.
The writer himself doesn't call his book a fantasy, he calls it a reality novel, that's the way I look at it as well.
There is a thoughtful philosophy behind his novel, and the movie interpreted his thought very well.

Wonderful....

Si muka badak

2007-12-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

Aku sengaja nulis pake bahasa Indonesia, supaya agentku nggak ada yang ngerti bacanya, untuk diketahui umumnya para freelancer disini punya sejarah love and hate relationship dengan para agentnya, termasuk aku.
Gimana nggak 20% hasil kerja keras kita buat dia, we never like them ;), we think they are sucking our blood,
but the fact that they help you in the first place, nggak bisa dipungkiri.
Percaya nggak hari ini aku ditelpun sama agentku yang dulu aku pernah cerita di blog ini juga, nawarin kerjaan lagi, muka badak nggak sih dia , udah ditolak mentah mentah masih berani beraninya nelpun lagi, ngeselin.., tapi ya gitu deh, dia kesampingkan itu semua emosi dia yang penting dia bisa ngedapetin 20 % :)
Agentku yang sekarang wanita cantik dan sexy, blond, dan ramah, dia berkali kali ngajak aku hang out, makan sianglah, makan malam lah, biasa untuk membina hubungan baik.
Kolegaku si bule satu namanya Vincent juga digituin ama dia, gimana nggak temen sekantorku ini cengengesan dikantor di jemput wanita cantik, sekantor heboh kalau dia datang.
Aku ke JFall (Java conference in Fall), eh ngikut, supaya kenal ama temen temen ku, udah gitu mau ikutan network, biar bisa ngemail sesama Java developer juga kali, cari candidate biasa...
Waktu kita ke JFall, gue ketemu temen temen gua biasa, ketawa ngakak sana sini, kemudian, mereka tanya itu siapa nit, lalu kujawab , that's my agent, langsung mereka nggak ketawa ketawa lagi, langsung mukanya berubah. Aku kan tahu kalau semua temenku alergi sama agent, goblok nggak sih gue kok kemana mana bawa agent. ;)
Abis gue nggak bisa nolak, waktu dia mau ngikut.
Tapi at the end of the day, why not , they are only human, they have a life to carry and to survive..come on give them a chance ;)..
Dont' be too hard on them , Trinita

Menjadi programmer diluar negeri part III

2007-12-02T00:51:00.000-08:00

Yeah mustinya part II dulu, tapi part II itu masa masa sulitku selama disini, (got fired because restructuring of the company , out of job for several months , no money far from home, etc)
butuh semua emosi untuk menuliskannya, dan mengingat dengan detail kejadian lebih dari 5 tahun lalu rada rada syusah, jadi aku pass it by, sebelum terkumpul semua memory bank,
langsung ke part III aja ya, the good part...

Singkat kata, I don't have any choice but being a freelancer, pada saat itu dengan pengalaman cekak banget sebagai Java programmer, aku kebut semua kualifikasi yang aku perlukan untuk masuk ke segment ini, caranya, aku ambil sertifikasi, bayangin aku beli buku semua exam cram, dan belajar selama 3 bulan full by my own, ngejer sertifikasi.
To be honest I don't suggest you guys to do that, abis karena bener bener intensif belajarnya, banyak yang aku lupa sesudahnya, dengan mudahnya...
Tanpa pengalaman memadai sebagai Java programmer, nobody want to hire me, satu satunya jalan adalah dengan bikin project sendiri.. heheh... Yes, I bought domain names not just one but three., each of them I create e-commerce project, I did it as a case studies and learn a lot from it.
I put it on my CV, and voila.. I got interviews..

Interviewku pertama sebagai freelancer adalah di Ericson, waktu aku pertama datang ke kampus nya, walah bukan main besarnya komplexnya, kantinnya lebih besar dari pada Pasar raya ground floor, food court..aku merasa jadi kecil sekali...oh come on, do they really want to hire me, I'm just a cute Indonesian girl who know almost nothing...;)

Yang aku ingat pada saat itu adalah, I don't resist, aku percaya yang terbaik akan terjadi pada diriku,
dan I only deserve what best for me, kalau gue dapet syukur, nggak dapet ya cari lagi, but there will be something for me out there.
Got back home, I immediately got a call from my agent. I got a job !
After several months out of job, with a lot of debt as the house had to be paid and because I was a big spender, almost want to quit home back to Indonesia, or almost kill yourself ;) can you imagine how I felt at that time.
Dan udah gitu ngerasain pertamakali sebagai freelancer, gaji pertamaku sebagai freelancer ratenya 35 euro/jam. Total bersih aku dapet sekitar 4000 an euro perbulan, 2 x lipat dari pada gaji pertamaku di Logica 2 tahun sebelumya. It was a record for me at that time.
By the way rateku pada saat ini sudah 75/jam , 3,5 tahun after my first freelance job in Holland.

Moral of the story, if the rule of marketing is 3, location, location,location,
the rule success for me is ; never give up, never give up and never give up.

Next part of this series...continues..

Blijf sociaal

2007-11-30T15:14:00.000-08:00

I usually work from home on friday, but not today, cause I have an appointment to meet some of my old coleagues in Amsterdam, if I work from home, I have to come all the way from Arnhem to Amsterdam, it is easier if
I work today and from there I go to Amsterdam.

So the place we agree is in Leidseplein, Amsterdam, never been there, It's a nice area, actually especially at night where all the lights are on in the trees, this is almost christmas so all the beautful lights are on the trees and the houses.
I watched children skating in a little skating arena , very nice, I definitely will come back here again and bring my camera with me.

We met in a bar called 'The Bulldog' , I hate to be in the bar, because I have to yell when I talk and my throat hurt afterward, but anyway, this guys choose this place, I couldn't complain.
I order a beer, I never drink beer before I swear, but I just think I wanna try white beer from Belgium, it is not that bad, I actually like it.

These two guys that I met today, both are from the same company that I worked before, and we had quite fun time in the company, and thought that we might have drink together for old time sake and talk about good old days or good new days ;)
One of them named Bryan, he's from Irish, quite a character, always complain about anything, anything he could possibly complain of, if he see something than the first thing he do is try to find the negative side of it, the software is bad, nothing good, stupid people, that kind of complain, you know.
Bennie on the other side whether he agree or not with him, is just try to level with him, so he doesn't take seriously but he's a nice family man.
So why do you think three people with totally different character , whose got nothing in common, eh.. well beside both of us are certified Padi diver and Java developer, sitting in a table together and try to spend some good time together in friday night in Amsterdam.
I suppose nerds like us, spending times most of the time in the computer, reading books, developing software, only watch national geographic or cnn, never watch soap opera, also need to interact with people, something that we usually not good at.
We are not perfect, with very different character, I was talking to them about my dream that one day I won't have to work anymore I will be very rich , I will be millionaire, I keep this dream in my head like tape that could be rewind, and you guys will witness my dream, materialize...
It doesnt' mean that I won't do programming anymore, I might still do that, but only when I want too.
and I do that only for fun...
Blijf sociaal, or be social that's the words that we used, I don't know exactly if it means really like it means, I don't give a damn, I sometimes just want to be a regular person, have night out with some friends once in a while..that is exactly what I did.

Being an Indigo

2007-11-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

I just recover from sick for days, and at the end of the week, I decided to treat myself for a 'pasar malam' near Arnhem, for a good Indonesian food and nice time.
We pass by a kiosk where you can see your aura, and some woman will tell you what are their mean.
I took the picture and the aura color that shows was Indigo.
I dont' know what the color means until this woman told me.
She said that Indigo color combined with strong violet on the left means for supranatural power. she said I have it. And it is very strong.
For me it doesn't matter what does it means, it is only confirm to me what I've already know for a long time.
Having a work that surround with logical system like computer, avoiding me to become sensitive to the 'other' things.
I have lived my life based on intuition, I follow where the flow leads me.
But I only can tell you one thing, doesn't mean I don't bump into the muddy road or anything but It always leads you to what you want and what makes you happy with alot of degree of satisfaction and contendment.
My main reason to live here in this world I know already.
It is being the creator of my own life...
A life that is not boring, but full of surprised.
If my life was long and smooth, believe me I'd die sooner
The long and bumpy road, was meant to challenge me.
The satisfaction and contentment I got soon after I achieved my goal, was a time when I can take my breath and said how beautiful my life can be.

"Because the line between wrong and right,
Is the width of a thread from a spider's web,
The piano keys are black and white,
But they sound like a million colours in your mind."

Spider web by Katie Melua

Lebaran dan jauh dari rumah

2007-10-12T23:48:00.000-07:00

Tidak ada yang istimewa hari ini, tidak ada shalat Ied, tidak ada sungkeman, tidak ada lontong, tidak ada makanan.
Hari dimulai seperti biasa, dengan breakfast in bed, membaca buku dan menulis di komputer ini, diatas tempat tidur dipagi hari sabtu di Westervoort rumahku.
Lebaran dan jauh dari rumah.
Siang berniat bertandang same Lury kerumah temen yang membuat lontong lebaran, lumayan buat menghilangkan kangenku.
Hari minggu aku harus ke Jerman, untuk training, pulang hari Rabu.
Tidak ada yang istimewa lebaran ini.
Selain menyadari bahwa aku selalu jauh dari rumah jika lebaran.

Still learn to say 'No'

2007-10-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

Seminggu yang lalu aku menghadapi kemelut di kantor yang cukup membuatku sebel dan uncomfortable. Begini ceritanya, waktu aku pertama mendapatkan posisi ini aku sudah deal dengan sang project manager yang menginterviewku kalau aku bersedia bekerja kalau aku bisa kerja satu hari dalam seminggu dirumah online.Maklum rumahku diujung timur Holland, sedangkan kantorku diujung barat Holland, tapi karena agentku memasang harga tertinggi yang pernah aku dapat selama ini, aku hayo saja, tapi dengan syarat tersebut diatas.
Waktu berjalan, dua bulan kemudian, diangkatlah seorang technical leader, nah si tech lead ini membuat peraturan baru bahwa selama project belum 'roll out' tidak seorangpun diperbolehkan kerja dirumah. Aku langsung protest tentunya, singkat kata, setelah berdiskusi dengannya tidak juga mempan, aku langsung bilang ama dia begini :
Kalau memang you still insist about that, aku akan berpikir keras minggu ini apa aku masih tetap kerja disini.Siangnya tanpa diduga, aku mendapat tawaran kerja dari agent yang lain yang menanyakan apakah aku berminat bekerja di perusahaan lain di Amsterdam, lokasinya jauh lebih dekat dari rumah, aku langsung bilang yes, maklum lagi marah, dan interview di arrange besoknya.
Setelah interview, sang agent bilang 2 hari lagi keputusannya.
Selama 2 hari itu aku sudah mempersiapkan segala kemungkinan untuk keluar.
Eh setelah satu hari, sang project manager mengajakku berdiskusi mengenai yang aku khawatirkan, dengan sangat bijak dia berkata, 'saya ingin mensupport kamu, dan i dont' see any reason, kenapa saya tidak bisa bekerja dirumah.' aku lega sekali, dan langsung bilang thank you.
Apa yang terjadi kemudian ?, aku dapat kabar kalau aku diterima kerja di Amsterdam lagi. Coba bayangkan apa yang musti aku bilang, aku speechless, aku nggak berani ngadepinnya, karena aku merasa bersalah, sudah mau maunya interview, tapi ternyata menolak.
Masalahnya aku ngerti bener dinamikanya seorang agent, aku pernah ngobrol dengan mereka dan tahu persis bagaimana system mereka sehingga, jika terjadi semacam ini, it will cost them all their emotion.

Handphone kumatiin, aku sms mereka, kalau aku diterima bekerja ditempat lain, email ku ke agent juga menerangkan dengan panjang lebar, tapi anehnya aku nggak berani ngadepin langsung via telephone, Kenapa ?, aku tahu kenapa karena aku nggak bisa menyembunyikan perasaan bersalahku, dan nggak bisa bilang 'tidak' dengan setegas mungkin. I still have to learn alot about it....

PS. buat yang belum tahu apa itu agent, agent itu kayak head hunter, per orang sekali masukin kerjaan dia bisa dapet sekitar 15 ribuan euro (companynya), plus komisi perjamnya kita kerja.

The Goodness of Life

2007-09-16T22:35:00.000-07:00

Though there is much
to be concerned about,
there is far, far more
for which to be thankful.

Though life's goodness can
at times be overshadowed,
it is never outweighed.

For every single act
that is senselessly destructive,
there are thousands more small, quiet acts
of love, kindness and compassion.

For every person who seeks to hurt,
there are many, many more who
devote their lives to helping and to healing.

There is a goodness to life
that cannot be denied.

In the most magnificent vistas
and in the smallest details,
look closely,
for that goodness always
comes shining through.

There is no limit
to the goodness of life.
It grows more abundant
with each new encounter.
The more you experience and
appreciate the goodness of life
the more there is to be lived.

Even when the cold winds blow
and the world seems to be covered in foggy shadows,
the goodness of life lives on.
Open your eyes,
open your heart,
and you will see that
goodness everywhere.

Though the goodness of life
seems at times to suffer setbacks,
it always endures.

For in the darkest moments
it becomes vividly clear
that life is a priceless treasure.

And so the goodness of life
is made even stronger
by the very things
that would oppose it.

Time and time again
when you feared it was gone forever
you found that
the goodness of life
was really only
a moment away.

Around the next corner
Inside every moment
The goodness of life
Is there to surprise and delight you

Take a moment to let the goodness of life
touch your spirit and calm your thoughts.
Then, share your good fortune with another.
For the goodness of life grows
more and more magnificent
each time it is given away.

Though the problems constantly
scream for attention
and the conflicts appear
to rage ever stronger,
the goodness of life grows stronger still,
quietly, peacefully,
with more purpose and meaning
than ever before.

Copyright © 2004 Ralph S. Marston, Jr.

Tuesday morning

2007-09-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Here I am again tuesday morning waiting for my train, surprise surprise, the whole week not a single train was late, I'm on business...
I decided to work at home 1 time per week on friday, that is agreed. I'm so happy about it.
The first time I work on friday, all my cats are surround me, they just wondering ..'rub their head against me, and wondering why am I here not working as usual.'...cute things.
The house is quite, peaceful and I be able to work much more efficient than in the office.
I met some old colleage of mine before in Den Haag, just to catch up what's going on, funny story, he just broke up, and move on with his new life. 'Mooi boel is dat ?'
Planning to go to Java polis in Belgium next December, that would be fun.
Another plan..my e-commerce dream, it's got to be realized..
It's got to happen.
It won't just be in my fantasy..
I would really like to make it happen..

Mengamati seorang pengemis di Amsterdam

2007-09-07T22:04:00.001-07:00

Suatu hari saya sedang berjalan distasion Amsterdam, seorang Indonesia laki laki mendekati saya
orangnya tinggi berambut keriting keturunan arab, menyapa saya : "Mbak dari Indonesia ya ?",
saya jawab ya kemudian dia meneruskan sambil nyerocos bahwa dia kehilangan dompet, dan dia memerlukan uang untuk
kembali ke Harlem, sebanyak 3 euro, saya tanpa babu lagi dengan serta merta mengeluarkan lembaran uang 5 euroan
setelah dia mengulurkan tangannya hendak mengambil uang itu, barulah saya sadar
dengan siapa saya berhadapan.. seorang junkie, drug addicted.
uang sudah terlanjur berpindah tangan, saya tinggal menyesal dan meneruskan perjalanan saya lagi.
Dalam hati sialan gua dikibulin.
Berbulan bulan kemudian saya melewati stasiun Amsterdam lagi,
saya didekati orang yang sama lagi, rupanya trik yang dipakai adalah dia mendekati orang orang Indonesia,
karena pasti sentimen nasionalis kita nggak tega lihat orang kita melarat begitu dinegeri orang.
sekali ini no way.
Saya langsung ambil langkah kaki seribu, menghindari kejarannya.
Setelah jauh di dalam kereta, saya jadi mikir, apa yang terjadi dengan anak muda yang sesungguhnya ganteng itu
dari aksen Indonesianya dia belum lama di Holland, mungkin tadinya dia sekolah, dan pergaulan membuat dia
terdampar disini, sungguh kasihan dengan orang tuanya yang menyekolahkan dia jauh jauh dengan penuh harapan.
Tidak tahu apa yang sesungguhnya terjadi disini.
Tragis.
Bulan bulan pertama saya tinggal disini, saya selalu banyak menaruh kasihan pada mereka yang menjadi pengemis dijalan
Saat ini tidak lagi, mengapa ?, karena saya tahu mereka sudah banyak diberikan kesempatan untuk mencapai standard hidup minimal
banyak bantuan buat mereka, tapi selama mereka masih terikat dengan obat obatan apapun tidak akan ada artinya.

Mereka akan selalu tinggal dijalan.
Pernah sekali kesempatan saya mencoba melihat langsung kedalam pandangan mata mereka, tidak ada jiwa lagi didalamnya.
Kucing saya saja masih lebih hidup dari pada itu.

Kalau jiwa mereka sudah tidak didunia lagi, dimana ya kira kira ?

Of an old friend

2007-08-31T12:01:00.000-07:00

Kala sedang browsing browsing iseng iseng ngetik namaku sendiri di search engine
lho kok ada website ku dipajang disebuah blog,
setelah kubuka ternyata temen lama ku semasa aku masih di Jakarta, menulis sekelumit mengenai aku.
Aku sungguh terharu membacanya.
Tidak ada yang menghargai apa yang kuraih selama ini, seperti mereka, karena mereka ada bersamaku ketika itu, mereka ada disana ketika kita makan siang bersama diwarung dekat kantor
mereka ada disana ketika kita sedang naik biskota ketempat kerja
mereka ada disana ketika kita makan siang cukup dengan semangkok bakso pangsit, mereka ada disana ketika kita sekali kali dugem :) (sekali kali aja bok ).
we talk about it, we laugh about it, and we make fun about it ,
They are there with me at that time.
Meski perjuangan selama masih di Jakarta, cukup panjang,
tapi tidak ada hari yang tidak
pernah kita lewati dengan tawa.
Apapun bisa terjadi tapi kita tidak pernah berhenti tertawa.
Itulah yang aku ingat dengan temanku yang satu ini.
Dengan gaji cekak dan pas pasan, ternyata tidak bisa membuat kita berhenti tertawa ;)
One thing, please do not envy me, as what you achieved as a happy housewife with 2 beautiful children is nothing less than what I achieved now.
Doaku semoga, hidupmu selalu bahagia.
You've been there, you are part of my history, I miss you and your laughter, and in the bottom of my heart I wish you all the best in your life.

Conversation with God

2007-08-16T04:30:00.001-07:00

I was in a 'shopaholic mode' yesterday, I went to Schiphol airport in Amsterdam and strolling my feets, dragging my body along the way where I can see this 'goodies'...You know goodies.:)
I ended up buying several gadgets for my Ipod 3G, a little accesories for my cameras, and a little tiny cute notebooks with a lot of cats on it.

Here's what I wrote on this tiny book :
"Dear little tiny book, I bought you for a reason, so that I can write,I will write and write and write, and because you are so tiny, I can bring you along anywhere I like,I write to my self and sometimes to God, so be prepare..."

I add a little note in front : "Sekalipun langit runtuh , buku ini harus diselamatkan"(Even if the clouds falling down, this book must to be saved )

So what kind of things would you talk to God, isn't it only a Holy man can talk to God ?,
God is talking to everybody, everywhere, depends on if they are listen to it or not.
Yes I sometimes write to God, in contrary to what you think, God is sometimes communicating with us.
Through thought, feeling and experience.
I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by gratitude that I have to write about it.
Believe it or not, sometimes God also talk back to me, like a hunch or soothing feeling something like that.
But of course there is no way of knowing whether I was just imagining or fantasizing, there's no way to tell. It's just depends on whether you believe it or not.
One thing for sure, if it is God that talk to me, His thought will be much clearer than me, His Feeling will be much higher than me.Then I know it is not me.
My little tiny book will be the witness of it all, If I die,
I bet they can sell it on Ebay for millions :)

My Conversation with God in this book, is my best way for me to send my gratitude to him.
As the life that has been given to me, is so wonderful and full of surprise.
A life that I always want to be.

Celebrating my top rate ever

2007-08-16T04:29:00.001-07:00

Hari ini gue mau ngerayain rekor tertinggi rate gue selama ini di Holland bersama temen temen deket gua, it's worth to celebrate it, mulai bulan ini gaji gue perbulan sudah mencapai limit diatas cepek tiauw setelah dipotong pajak kalau dirupiahin hehee..it marks its success, I'm grateful and appreciate it.Terahir gue nego ama agent gue, dikasih lebih 10 euro perjam diatas rate gue sebelumnya...cihui..Itu juga dengan nego cukup alot, selama berhari hari, karena gua bilang ama agent gua ada 4 interview lagi yang menunggu selain disini, aku bilang ama dia, I can easily choose what best for me, no question about it.Akhirnya setelah managernya ngomong ama gue, dia bilang begini, kalau kita naikin rate kamu, kamu bisa garansi nggak kalau kamu mulai kerja mulai senin depan. lantas aku bilang OK. It's a deal.Cihui, dus besok hari jumát sekalian tujuh belasan di Den haag, aku ajak kawan kawan dinner di restoran kesukaan.Adikku Shinta bilang ,jangan lupa bayar zakat..ya...ya..ya..of course.Who would have deny that life is sooo..goood...My next project, sebuah proyek buat salah satu bank terbesar di Holland untuk middleware di seluruh ATM machine mereka.

My Passion

2007-08-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

I've spent my life already 7 years in Holland,
and people asked what am I doing here in the cold country of Holland don't you miss the warmth and beauty in Indonesia ?
I should say, yes, I miss the hell alot of it,
I even come back home frequently at least 2 times in a year
My highest record was 4 x in year, at that time when I did that the immigration in the airport looked at me right into my eyesand said what are you doing in just 4 days trip here, yes since I have limited days for holiday,
I can only go there for 4 days.
I just smiled, I don't need to explain anything.
The thing is, I would love to combine working in and get paid very well in another country while I love living in another.How could you do that ?
And then the next question is, what do you do ? a programmer ?
I never know you even finish your school ?, how could you do that ?
I could have ended up working as an administrative person in Indonesia, and barely earned any money.The fun thing is if you know the secret, you could do that.
You could do anything as long as you have a passion and desire for it.
I have been in my life so passionately desire something, that nobody even dare to dream of it, but I did.And at the end it manifest into my life.
I have many passion, and one of them is photography, unfortunately I don't have much time to do that due to my work.
So my next goal is stop working and doing only stuff that I would love to do.
And one thing I know for sure, It will happen.

Mengapa saya masih saja menjadi programmer

2007-08-13T22:49:00.000-07:00

Banyak yang bertanya demikian, mengapa saya tidak jadi Architect kemudian project manager and so on en so on, setelah sekian tahun menjadi programmer, seolah karir saya sudah mentok.Lha wong saya pernah juga menjadi project manager, saya itu orangnya tidak suka merintah orang, pengennya dikerjain sendiri, akibatnya ya nggak bagus.

Programmer itu menurut saya pekerjaan seniman, mengejawantahkan keinginan sebuah company untuk memecahkan solusi atau problematikannya , out of nothing, from just a fantasy, sampai benar benar menjadi realita, bisa di klik, bisa dilihat hasilnya bisa di test, dlsb. Saya melihat profesi programmer itu sebagai 'mimicking God' yaitu mencipta, now I can see how God is so happy creating this world, because it is the creativity that makes the world turning around :).

From the book the Mythical man month :

'Why is programming fun ? What delight may its practitioner expect as his reward ?First is the sheer joy of making things. As the child delights in his mud pie, so the adult enjoys building things, especially things of his own design. I think this delight must be an image of God's delight in making things, a delight shown in the distinctintness and newness of each leaf and each snowflake.Second is the pleasure of making things that are useful to other people. Deep within, we want others to use our work and to find it helpful. In this respect the programming system is not essentially different from the child's first clay pencil holder 'for Daddy's office'.

Dan mengenai uang, saya mendapatkan jumlah yang sama tiap bulan dibanding project manager, kalau malah tidak lebih, ditambah lagi saya masih bisa dapat proyek tambahan diluar jam kerja yang jumlahnya lumayan, apa project manager atau architect bisa begitu ?
That's how I see it, I do not have any ambition more than creativity.Kalau ada yang bilang karir saya kok mentog, mau lihat dari sudut mana, tentunya saya juga mengantisipasi kedinamisan dunia IT, di lima tahun mendatang mungkin saya sudah menjadi entrepreneur dalam kreativitas yang lain lagi, you never know.

Akan selalu ada yang bisa saya ciptakan, selama saya masih juga kreatif

Menjadi programmer di luar negri Part I

2007-04-14T05:13:00.000-07:00

Pertanyaan mengenai bagaimana menjadi programmer dan bekerja diluar negri , selalu menjadi salah satu pertanyaan favourit, karena itu saya akan menyediakan waktu menulis mengenai ini dalam beberapa bab.
Pertanyaan :
1.Mungkinkah saya bisa ?
2.Bagaimana caranya ?

Tentunya pertanyaan ini bergantung pada keadaan tapi, satu yang jelas ada banyak cara untuk bekerja sebagai programmer diluar negri, tidak cuma di Belanda, di NZ, dan Australia, bahkan di USA terbuka kemungkinan untuk itu, jika anda tahu selahnya dan mau memotivasi diri anda menuju kesitu.
Cara pertama dengan bersekolah di luar, terbuka kemungkinan untuk di terima bekerja di negara tersebut, jika anda berprestasi baik (Saya bicara khusus sebagai programmer )
Cara kedua dengan mengandalkan skill anda dan koneksi agency diluar.
Cara terahir inilah yang saya lakukan.

Dengan catatan, skill anda haruslah diatas rata rata, kemampuan bahasa Inggris yang baik dan anda mampu mempresentasikan diri anda dengan baik. Yang saya sebut terahir ini sebagai standard, jika kurang dari itu, mungkin anda harus mengkaji kembali apakah ada kemungkinan lain, yaitu dengan bekerja di perusahaan yang memenangkan tender outsourcing di luar. Cara ini paling tidak menempatkan diri anda pada kemungkinan karir anda baik , anda akan berkembang disana.

Cara yang saya lakukan cukup unik, tapi saya sangat beruntung pernah bekerja di suatu perusahaan asing yang cukup dikenal , sehingga kompetensi saya tidak perlu dipertanyakan lagi, referensi saya juga bagus , langsung dari project manager dimana saya bekerja.

Saya masih ingat pada saat itu saya belum memiliki 'Green Card' atau residence permit di Belanda, saat itu saya hanyalah mempunya visa kunjungan , turis biasa.
Saat itu saya membeli koran setempat 'De telegraaf', pada saat itu tahun 2000, sangat banyak posisi yang ditawarkan dibagian job IT, ada suatu posisi yang cukup menarik yaitu sebagai 'Internet/Intranet developer' posisi ditawarkan dalam bahasa Inggris, saat itu juga impuls saya mengatakan, 'Go for it', agency dengan nomor telp yang terdapat dikoran tsb langsung saya telpun dan saya terus terang mengatakan saya belum punya visa bekerja, tapi agent mengatakan tidak apa apa , bisa dicoba , karena mereka melihat CV saya cukup meyakinkan ( saat itu saya sudah mengantongi pengalaman bekerja di USA ). Hari pertama interview, berjalan lancar, interview ke 2 juga lancar, saat pulang sambil mengayuh sepeda saya mendengar telpon berdering ..'Trinita you have good news !,You have the job !!', anda bisa membayangkan saya melompat kegirangan.
But that is only a start..

Lain kali akan saya lanjutkan dengan cerita saya mengenai perjalanan karir saya di luar negri.
Dan bagaimana saya merangkak dari seorang programmer biasa menjadi mencapai posisi sebagai kategori 'High demand' job in the planet yang dibayar perjam cukup tinggi, meski tetap banyak orang menganggap rendah pekerjaan ini sebagai 'detachering' kesannya mirip dengan 'tanpa masa depan' karena saya bekerja 'on project basis', tapi dengan gaji lebih tinggi daripada anggota DPR di Belanda sendiri. Why not ? Who care, I do it my way.

Secangkir kopi dipagi hari

2007-04-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

Pada waktu kebiasaan ini dimulai, dulu waktu saya masih di Jakarta, biasanya saya selalu memulai hari dengan meminum segelas kopi tubruk, kopi ini bisa didapat di warung didepan tempat kost saya atau bikin sendiri kalau saya lagi bokek.
Setiap hari tidak pernah sekalipun saya melewatkan kebiasaan ini, semua orang dikantor tahu dimana saya bisa ditemukan, pasti sedang mengopi diwarung si emak atau pun di 'dunkin donut' nggak jauh dari tempat kost dan kantor.

Cara saya meminum kopi juga sedikit unik, yaitu menggunakan sendok, sesendok demi sesendok air kopi yang saya hirup. Teman teman saya yang pernah melihat saya minum kopi, selalu bilang, "Itu mah makan kopi bukan minum kopi namanya". Terserahlah apa yang mau mereka bilang.

Apa yang saya lakukan jika saya sedang asyik mengopi itu yang orang tidak tahu.
Mereka pikir saya sedang minum secangkir kopi, that's it, nothing more nothing else.
Mereka tidak tahu saya sedang memvisualisasikan segala cita cita saya di angan angan,
Membuat mereka semakin jelas , semakin akurat dan semakin berbinar.
Membuat darah saya mengalir bertambah cepat dan membuat adrenaline saya naik.
Memotivasi saya untuk berbuat yang terbaik untuk bisa saya lakukan hari ini, karena mungkin saja esok saya tidak disini lagi.

Meminum secangkir kopi dipagi hari buat saya adalah semacam ritual yang perlu saya lakukan meskipun bagaimana telatnya saya bangun dan harus segera berangkat kerja, saya tidak akan pernah melewatkan acara mengopi dipagi hari.

Saat ini saya masih selalu melewatkan waktu ngopi dipagi hari sebelum berangkat kerja, kali ini semua lamunan dan mimpi selama saya mengopi di Jakarta telah tercapai, tapi saya selalu masih mempunyai mimpi mimpi lain yang masih akan terus saya ciptakan selama saya masih mengopi.

Should I take the blue pills ?

2007-04-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

On the movie 'the Matrix' Neo confronted with 2 options, and he took the blue pills.
What is gonna happen if he take the other one ?

Our life is full with choices. Choices , choices , choices even thinking is a choice.
These choices of yours leading to where you are right now, consciously or not consciously.

Our reaction to some situation is also a choice, to be angry is a choice, most of the people is not aware that they actually have a choice to be angry or not to be. They thought they just respond to what happen to them.
They what I call it a 'Conscious zombie' which only react on things without consciously choose their own feeling and action.

We have the ability to choose to feel good when we are not. We think we don't, you said this situation is what caused me to feel bad, but still you have a choice to feel good out of that. You can feel good while you think you feel grateful that you have the option to at least live in this challenging situation and take a lesson from it, for example.

You can feel good when you think , you still lucky to have all this opportunity happen in your life no matter how bad the situation is.

Everything you experience in life both internally and externally is the result of how you have responded to a previous event.

The life you currently live is the result of all your past thoughts and actions. You are in charge of your current thoughts and your present feelings. You are in charge of what you say and what you do. You are also in charge of what goes into your mind - the books the magazine you readt the movies the television shows you watch and the people you hang out with.

You have control over three things in your life , the thought you think, the image you visualize and the actions you take (your behaviour). How you use these three things determines everything your experience.
If you don't like what you are producing and experienceing, you have an option to choose to change your responses.
Choose to change your negative thoughts to positive one.
Choose to change what you daydream about.
Choose to change your habits.
Change what you read.
Change your friends.
Change how you talk

Choices of your life that leads to where you are now, is controllable and within your own ability to control it.

These words are inspired from the books :
"How to get from you are to where you want to be "
Jack Canfield and
"Creative visualization"
Shakti Gawain

'Play victim' mind set

2007-04-09T09:23:00.002-07:00

Baru baru ini saya berdiskusi disebuah forum profesional Indonesia via internet
Sangat menarik sekali, dan sungguh diluar dugaan saya, bahwa mind set mereka
masih seperti sejak saya tinggalkan lebih 10 tahun yang lalu.
Mental sebagai korban atau 'Play victim'
Dengan mental ini selalu semua kesalahan di serahkan pada orang lain selain diri sendiri.

Bangsa kita atau nenek moyang kita dijajah dengan sadis makanya kita jadi begini.
Kakek saya diperlakukan tidak adil makanya saya kita jadi begini.
Bangsa lain maju karena menjajah kita, makanya kita kere.
Mereka jadi kaya karena merampok kita.

Jangan pernah melupakan sejarah itu kata mereka
Sejarah ada untuk kita belajar lebih baik
dari pengalaman.
bukan untuk menghujat
bukan untuk membenci
bukan untuk menabuh genderang perang
bukan untuk mengatasnamakan segala kegagalan bangsa ini atas nama sejarah.
bukan untuk menjadikan kita generasi sakit hati

Kegagalan , keberhasilan ada ditangan kita saat ini , sekarang ini. NOW , bukan seratus tahun yang lalu atau tigaratus tahun yang lalu.

Bukankah tanah dan otak yang diberikan Tuhan tidak akan habis meskipun pernah dijajah ?
Bukankah pohon kembali tumbuh ,dan tanah kembali subur, dan siap ditanami meskipun pernah dijajah ?
Bukankah masih ada semangat ?
Bukankah masih ada masa depan ?
Bukankan masih ada kemauan ?
Bukankah masih ada jalan ?
Don't you have faith ?

Dengan mind set seperti ini, kita memposisikan diri sebagai orang yang terus teraniaya ,pasif dan tak berdaya
Bagaimana jika memposisikan diri sebagai survivor ?
bagaimana jika memposisikan diri sebagai the winner ?

Pilihan ini 100% ada ditangan mereka.
Mereka tidak sadar bahwa perubahan dimulai dengan pertama tama dengan merubah cara mereka berfikir.

Kita diberikan segala sesuatu yang diperlukan untuk sukses untuk berhasil untuk bahagia dalam hidup ini cukup dan berlimpah oleh Tuhan.
We just have to find out about i.

Tapi syukurlah, saya masih melihat cukup banyak orang yang memiliki sikap positif, great attitude, definitely a formula for a success.
And I know they will.

"If we pay attention, we can find a greater life,
no matter where we are, no matter who we are
no matter what our circumstances are.
If you tune into the mysterious coincidence in your life,
if you discover and then follow your intuitions,
you will find that there's a door of opportunity
for a greater life for you.
You can't be a victim and do it,
but if you go beyond that, if you find a way out of whatever circumstances you're in,
whatever block you think you might face,
what happen is that it works.
It always works.
The only thing that holds any of us back is not believing that it works"

-James Redfield-
From the book 'The celestine prophecy'

To freelance or not to Freelance

2007-04-09T09:23:00.001-07:00

For some people is still a dillema
It is not for me, not since 3 years ago, when I start freelancing.
Benefit from freelancing :
1.Variety of project experience
2.More money ( almost 3 times then permanent job)
3.Much more freedom , choosing your freetime for vacation or study for instance.

Your risk :
1.They can kick you out anytime
2.Contract start with only 3 months, then extended every 3 months at the most
so no long contract, alot of risk
3.You can't borrow money long term from the bank , only on special occassion
and with higher rate, this goes as well with buying a house

The choice is yours

Working with a negative person

2007-04-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

These kind of person is easy to recognize, he/she is loud and full of judgement, comes in three flavours :
Judgment of them self , judgment of others :
'He is so stupid',
'I can't believe she wears that !',
'what a jerk !',
'Our team leader is a moroon',
and judgement of experience :
'The worst restaurant in the world',
'This movie is terrible',
'The theater is so boring',
'I hate that kind of job'.

Nothing is good enough for him/her.

Being able to everyday sit and work with them is a challenge.
I'm not living like a Pollyana myself, but like it or not they colors your experience in a daily basis, and sometimes bringing some of the negativity home.

First I always have to make it clear, that I do not want to entertain their version of life.
I will confronted them that I don't agree or whatever to make him/her clear my position.
If I still have to face this poisonous energy, I will just observe without judging, what experience in my mind and my body when I experience this flows of negative energy.
Does it make my blood runs faster, does it make it tense ?, does it make me feel uncomfortable, what reaction it is in my head. Would I let this feeling tone go, would I like it to stay.
I watch this experience in a place of freedom.

Without condemning whatever he/she said.
Funny is when I do this in regular basis, when I see him/her differently, what I saw is changed.
He/she began to at least try to match with my positive energy.

'When you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change' -- Dr Wayne Dyer

And that is my friend called 'The entanglement'
Every one of us is connected.

Of a Friend

2007-04-09T09:22:00.002-07:00

I have a friend named Lury.
I knew her when I was in Jakarta, we were working together in the same company, living in the same city, in the same area and staying in the same rental house.

I then moved to Netherland,
Suddenly after so many years of all this many places, country , city in the world
We ended up living in the same city in Netherland, Arnhem.

I remember the day when we were living in Jakarta.
We were so young and free.
We laugh alot, do funny things alot,
strange things, sometimes for some people, but amusing.
We had this dream.
The stories, the gossip, the fight with each other,
the scandal you name it.
One time the other girl broke down crying broke up with the boyfriend , the next time the other.
We're regularly visit cafe, partying dancing, Having so much fun, drink too much tequila sometimes.
And sometimes the next some of us have to sleep in the sofa in the office to avoid paying rents.
Life was so ..' sex in the city' .

All I remember about her is : She always make the same mistake again and again with guys.
There was at least 2 times she was dating a married guy.
All her relationship never worked.
I was expected that after 2 divorces, many broken heart, bankcrupty,
sometimes not being able to pay the rents, or killing yourself, you expected somebody to realize what's wrong with herself.

Yesterday on the phone , she told me that she about to break up again.
Why I'm not surprise to hear that ?.

I believe she believe the she can't trust guys.
I believe she believe that no good guys on earth.
I believe that she believe she didn't deserve what best for her.
I believe that she believe she never lucky in love.

I think she just have to change her believe about her self.
I'm trying to say that she is the one who create her reality as it is now.

The law of Attraction

2007-04-09T09:22:00.001-07:00

I recently digging on to this subject : The law of Attraction.
It is basically saying that You attract what you're thinking, the same thought will attract the same experience/ event .
It is saying that who you are now ,is the accumulation of what you were thinking on the past.
If you think positive you will attract positive event or things to your life, if you weigh negative you will attract negative things and negative events in your life.
Your work now is what you have attracted to. Your friend now is what you have attracted to. Your house now is what you have attracted to. Everything that happen to your life is what you have attracted to.
And when you have desire, it will be yours,
but you are to believe first , then experience will follow.
It is basically saying : You are the creator of your own life.

You can practise by little things first in your life , forexample : You desire to meet an old friend of yours. Imagine how you feel when this happen. And next believe that it's gonna happen. As the laws says, It will happen.
With practise you can easily do it.
The books that I have been read for this matters :
1.Ask and it is given by Esther hicks
2.The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
3.The law of Attraction : The teaching of Abrahams
4.The power of deliberate intention.

I have exercise it on my daily basis now , starting last month. I will posted on the result later.

Gratitude

2007-04-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

For somebody like me , who came all the way from a country far far away, to pursue my dreams in Europe, It's such an easy things to be grateful.
I'm grateful that I'm alive.
I'm grateful that I have a good job.
I'm so grateful that I am easy to be grateful.

I'm grateful that I have eyes to see.
and the list go on and on and on easily.

While everybody complain about Holland,
I can find all the positive things about being here in Holland.

I have a colleage named CJ, who can easily complain about anything she could ever bump into.
I remember she used to came to the office very late, like 11 o'clock with her eyes all red and face so tired. The project leader had to send email warning about this, and she just look at it and say : so what ?.

I can see why she always complain.
By complaining she only attract negative things /event to her life.
I see her self as a very smart and success girl but with a lot of judgment to anything.

Gratitude is an easy way to change your life.
It always make me feel much better when I'm grateful about something.

I have a dream

2007-04-06T13:08:00.000-07:00

I have a dream.
I have a dream I become a writer.
I write about anything.
I have a dream I'm able to write.
I write about anything I could possibly write.
As this life is so interesting.
I write about the everyday train journey to my work, where there I have a chance to see many people at their moods coming to their work.
I write about some blind guy with his stick from Nijmegen who come everyday with the same train with me to Amsterdam, I write about some Indian IT'er at my work came all the way from India, and work in one of the biggest IT company in the world.
I write about how they feel, how they perceive this how they cope with how they survive how their feeling.
I write about a woman sit next in the train to me and become a friend.
I write about my wishes my homesick
I have a dream.
I don't have to worry about what is the next tools and technology I should learn , what my next IT exam I should prepare for and what the next book I should read in order to improve my skill.
I have a dream.
I will stop working as an IT'er and start writing.
I have a dream today.